literally i just came back into my apartment today...for good.
i hooked up my computer back to it's work corner and hooked up the internet
and it didn't take me 10 hours to check my email like it does at home (damn dial up)
i literally almost broke out in song having my comcast high speed internet back...Reunited and it feels so gooooood
I thought to myself maybe I'd go to work tomorrow...ya know, whenever I got bored or felt caught up enough on the BSG marathon...but then I just realized...tomorrow's MLK's BDay and my boss told me the office would be closed...so I guess that means...more BSG marathon time and more time to unpack. woot woot. Tuesday is a Groove day...cuz it's been a while since I seen my baby. Then I'll be back Wednesday in time for training for TU CARES...wooooo MONEY! lol...except I hear the hours are gonna be cut short...fuck. oh well.
Oh and I actually saw this on Mad TV, but I found it on YouTube too. They make a mockery of Korean Dramas...but it's sort of accurate, just the ridiculous parts that make no sense to americans, and otherwise it's just funny. Also the subtitles most of the time don't match at all what they're saying for the sole purpose of being funny. So me and my sisters laugh not only at the subtitles but also to what's actually being said (because we can understand Korean, duh) But watch it, cuz regardless of whether or not you're bilingual in english and korean, it'll be funny.Attitudes and Feelings, Both Desirable and Sometimes Secretive PART IAttitudes and Feelings, Both Desirable and Sometimes Secretive PART II
Okay so here's the skinny of my "winter break" so far
*3 days til christmas and my shopping isn't done for ANYONE
*2 days til my parents leave for Korea, which means no mom...Thank God
*1 more day with her, I think I may actually go insane
*completely unsure of when I can work for admissions, tho I'd love to for some extra money
*housesitting and dogsitting til January 14th...then I'm out of this joint
I drove in AWFUL traffic today between 270 and 70 to get to Hagerstown because mom wanted to exchange the shoes she bought for my grandmother...I told her I didn't want to drive, but because she sooooo sick (not really, she's just exaggerating as per usual), I drove and then she made me feel guilty by saying shit like "I'm sooo sorry that I'm making you drive me to make sure your grandmother's get a nice christmas present." As if my intent was to be mean to my grandmothers...I like my grandmothers...they like me, they treat me way nice...well as nice as they can from all the way across the world.
Shopping is gonna be nuts on Christmas Eve...but that's the only time I got...plus Grace and I are coming from Dulles after we drop off our parents, so we're making a pit stop at Tyson's Corner. *sigh* Hopefully I can find my sisters something nice. I'll spend Christmas day with them...and hopefully drive down to Cambridge Christmas night to see LJ and all that stuff. I say "hopefully" because just as I plan this...of course the weather calls for rain. Now a week ago, it said sprinkles, then a day later it said Partly Cloudy, then a couple days ago it said showers 30%...now it says showers 60%...I know I said only Snow and Fog would stop me from going, but this is ridiculous...I'd prefer no natural elements to make my 2.5 hr drive any less pleasant. I'm not all that used to drivin over there...I've only driven there once by myself, but that was from Baltimore,...eh
I'll stop complaining...I just want mom to stop nagging, my parents to have a safe flight to Korea and have fun for the THREE effing weeks they're gone, for nothing bad to happen to the store or to my house or to my sisters, hopefully find some awesome Christmas gifts for my family and select friends (because I'm low on ideas & cash)...and to be able to drive over the damn Bay Bridge to see my man on Christmas night...I don't think that's such an extraordinary request! Okay maybe a little...but some of it's selfless...maybe? Shh, let me believe what I can.
I wish I could get a hug from LJ...but I'll think I'll stuff my face with spaghetti and meatballs instead...*shrugs* food comforts me too...
Okay so finals week is OVER!!! Thank everything that is good. I almost screwed myself over. I haven't had an exam since last Wednesday and today I had 2 (well one was a paper I had to turn in and the other was an actual final). So from Wednesday, I told myself that I'd relax til the weekend and then finish my paper and study for my Social Psychology exam. Somehow I managed to not really know what day it actually was til I got back last night and realized, Hey tomorrow is Monday and I have shit due and shit to study...fuck. Mind you this was like midnight last night when it dawned on me I had shit to do. So I finish my paper, I grab my text book and study guide and sit on my bed, set my alarms just in case and then I start reading. Well then I wake up thinking "man I must have dosed off"~then my alarm went off. Too late, it was 9:30am and I had to get to campus by 10:15 to turn in my paper. This left me little to no time to study for Social Psych. I paniced in my room this morning. I literally studied 3 chapters and a huge list of cumulative material in under 2 hours. I turned in my paper at 10:15am and had until 12:30 to study for my Social Psych Final. I sat outside the library (cuz it was super beautiful out) and studied what I could. The exam was ehhh. I walked out hoping that I at least did well enough to maintain my nice solid B. Now since Thursday, the only grade I had in was Abnormal which I got a B in. So tonight I check my grades after days of having not very many grades (whatever happened to posting the grades 48 hours after the exam was given?). My social psych grade was ALREADY posted...I must have not done as well on the exam because I ended up with a B-...booo stupid +/- system fuckin my GPA. BUT I got a B in Research Methods. I nearly shit my pants...because he told me before finals week that it would be VERY difficult for me to get any higher than a C+ in that class because I fucked up so much on my first 2 tests. But lo and behold...I got a B in that class. I was soooo thrilled. So far I have a 2 B's and a B-. I'm waiting for my A to be posted and hopefully another B from psychopharmacology (which was my FIRST final last Tuesday and still no grade...wtf). If I get all that...then this will be my best semester of grades since like 2nd semester Freshman year. Haha. WOOOO! This was no joke a rough semester, taking 5 upperlevel psych courses.
It was a good weekend...the 4 day weekend that it was...lol. Only one small hiccup but it got worked out cuz it was just me being silly. It was a good day once I finished my finals. I took a nice shower, spent some time with LJ before he left. That was the only bad part of my day, having to say goodbye to him. But it's okay...I'm gonna see him in a week on Christmas. Woot. :D
I should clean my room, it's such a mess, and I don't know where anything is or what I'm gonna pack all my shit in. I don't want to leave...but I must. I have no money for christmas shopping...that is sooo fucking sad. You have NO idea. I shouldn't have spent the money I got back from book buybacks...but it was necessary spending...or so I thought. lol. I have 2 parties to possibly attend to tonight...I kind of want to go and I kind of don't. Eh...we'll see. I'll start cleaning and then decide to leave. Haha.( survey...cuz i canCollapse )
Okay...I swear after I finish these...I'm gonna study!!!( more surveys...i'm bingingCollapse )
( survey i stole from taraCollapse )
I don't wanna take finals...and I wish my Psychopharmacology exam was a different day and not tomorrow because I am ready to freak out like NOW.
My weekend will be Wednesday night thru Saturday morning...after that, it's back to studying for my last final and finishing my final take home exam.
I can't wait til Christmas...but I also wish I had more time to work to build a paycheck...because I need money to christmas shop...like real bad. haha
So the drive home was only semi-dangerous as I found out my driver-side windshield wiper does a poor job, in which it actually smears the water rather than clear it away...so I couldn't decide if I was worse off just letting the rain hit my windshield or attempting to clear it away. I got home and pretty much just passed out. And boy was it cold in my house and with hardwood floors...it really made me not wanna get out of my bed with my nice electric blanket. But I wake up Thanksgiving morning, helping Grace prepare some thanksgiving like foodies while Mom & Dad worked a shortened shift at the store (Cuz they never close unless they're in Korea). Tried calling Heather...and as usual she came late and didn't help us cook at all...but managed to help us eat the food and even take some with her (but I'll forgive her on the account of the humiliating story of her and her bf and my mother being my mother)...lol. To my dismay, my sisters and my parents were too busy to go out shopping for Black Friday. And as I had planned to go solo...I didn't wake up til like noon...oops. But I felt lousy. Then by evening I felt like DEATH. I was sneezing every two seconds, my nose was running, my head was hurting and my body was aching. So I drove out to get some medicine...and to my disappointment, Nyquil changed itself...so it no longer really gives me what I need. So I settled for something else...but I pretty much slept most of Friday and Saturday. I drove back to Towson Saturday and was about to make my way to Cambridge for Haily when I get a message saying she was on her way back to Baltimore. Huzzah. I took more meds and unpacked after I had a near crisis with Kevin's porn on my living room floor being seen by mother. I then made my way over to return the porn back to the household of Kevin and LJ. In which I shared the story with LJ, then went to Hooters to cheer up a brother, then went back to Josh's with the gang...saw people get shitfaced and it was funny. They once again figured out why I was their sweetheart...because I take care of them...LJ, among others also called me a little housewife...lol greeaaaat...
Last night sucked when I finally got to bed at like 4:30am...because suddenly all my muscles went stiff and my head was pounding. I took some advil and tried to lull myself to sleep with Closer playing the background. Woke up thinking it was like 2pm...it was actually 11am...so forced another hour of sleep. Got up, had some leftovers for lunch, took some more meds. Still feel like shit...my back feels like it's gonna break me in half if I move incorrectly.
Anyway, White Christmas was on...and I loved it. I'm a dork, but oh well, cuz I listen to the Christmas radio stations too lol. I can't wait...except I still have shopping to do. Lots of it!...who knows where I can buy things with Flamingos on it. LoL!!!
Here's how it is:
*November was a complete brain fuck as every single assignment and exam turned my brain to goo
*As a result of my brain turning into goo, I couldn't function properly
*Not functioning properly lead to bad sleep and LOTS of stress
*My lower back is acting up again...and I slipped down the stairs a couple days ago and apparently injured my ankle more than I thought (and I have NO idea where my ankle brace is)
*My memory is shot for some reason...too much on my mind I guess
*I fucked up and missed going into work today...because I forgot...and alas, not only is my boss gonna be disappointed, but so will the lady I work under, and I won't get the extra money...Good Job Ashley.
now i get to go home...and do lots of laundry, eat lots of korean food and possibly have some turkey (my family isn't big on traditional american thanksgiving dinner...just me and my sisters care)
it's raining...last year it was snowing when I drove home for thanksgiving break.
I still have to finish packing...and take mom's giant suitcase back.
I should eat lunch and do dishes that my roommate told me to finish cleaning before I left...lol yay...
My only comfort through all this was the rare, but appreciated, cuddle session with my baby...cuz something about curling up next to him just makes me feel much more at ease when everything else seems like shit.
97.1 and 101.9 started playing Christmas music a couple days ago...
and it's not even thanksgiving...
Hokay so it's like a little past 4am...and I just managed to finish my personality paper. I can't guarantee that it is completely understandable, but goddamn it, after watching a 2 hour movie a couple times through and taking notes and writing down quotes, you just get tired after a while of writing a paper. It was supposed to be 5-10 pages. I was aiming for 7 or 8...seemed like a good medium...well except it only ended up 6 pages. I just couldn't write anymore. Given, it could have been longer and better had I started earlier or not procrastinated so fucking long....BUT...size doesn't always matter. LOL. And even better, it's ready to be turned in at 11am. Hopefully, she doesn't mark down too much, because I'm sure she will (even though she's incredibly lenient) BUT it's okay, I'm sure I can get an A in the class because my take home tests have been pretty darn good so far.
Now I just have to study for Abnormal Psych...for an exam that is at 3:30pm tomorrow...err today. And normally, I'd say "I'll just go to bed and study in between my classes" except I can't because I work inbetween classes! I feel pretty awake right now...so I think I can at least skim through the chapters covered...and if I pass out, I'll just skim my study guide when I can tomorrow...Maybe I'll skip my 2pm...we just had a test in there, so we'll be starting a new topic, and honestly, he has powerpoints for all his classes so it's not like I'll miss much
(What I just did, I realized what I just did psychologically...but I'm gonna ignore it...damnit being a psych student and trying analyze my own behavior!)
Anyway...I just wanted to take a break from my world of psychology...sort of. If I can get through tomorrow...the rest of my week should be generally tolerable. But I do not foresee any relief til December 1st. Sad, isn't it?...because 2 weeks after that date...exams will fire up. AHHHH!!!
No wonder my hair is starting to fall out. I guess all I can hope for is to not get sick...Do Not Get Sick, DO NOT STRESS YOURSELF TIL YOU GET SICK!!!
Alright that was my mini mental note to myself.
I need a hug...I need to cuddle...(and no Erin, I don't mean you. lol)
p.s. i get more and more hostile and mean when i get overly stressed, so if i sounded mean over the phone, i'm sorry...i'm just...ready to pull out my hair and call it a year. lol
p.p.s. i got tired of my gray layout...so i adopted a new layout and changed the colors...i'll prolly change it again soon, i thought I could handle the pink but I don't think I can...so much for trying to be more girly and shit. hahaha
I don't know why, but I'm sitting here at work and I have work to do and yet not really doing it. First of all...once again, I had the worst night's sleep. Nightmares...well not really but bad dreams regardless. Then I woke up to both my alarms blaring, and I guess I just turned them off and fell asleep for what felt like 5 minutes which was ACTUALLY 2 hours. So I not only missed class...but I was SUPER late for work. I usually park in the lot on the outside of Union Garage for work because when I leave it's dark and I don't like to walk long distances at night...but no such luck so I parked at Towsontown...which is gonna be a pain in my ass when I get out of here at 6. I'm workin so slow today and my head is pounding...my gut is twisting...
I know I shouldn't feel this way...but I do. I don't even know how to begin to tell you why or how...I just feel...lied to. Or rather just kept in the dark...
I hate it...
I hate school right now...
I haven't even looked at classes I want to register for...that's how bad it is...I register Friday...ugh
I want a break so bad...and I don't mean thanksgiving, because that will be a headache (i'm sure of it)
I just want to get away...I need to get away...